I want to personally invite you to the world of Unitapioca, Inc.
On behalf of the senior management of Office Business, Inc. I want to extend a personal greeting to each and every one of you who have accepted the unique challenges, opportunities, and rewards you will soon enjoy as one of the Unitapioca little people, who so much of our profits depend upon.
We have asked a few of those co‑workers from key areas to write a few words about our procedures and operations to help you better understand the human needs behind some of the systems and processes you will soon become a part of, now that you are a member of the Unitapioca worldwide family. We do this in the belief that understanding our policies from the perspective of your fellow participants in the system will help ease your way into your new life which will soon include “the Unitapioca way of doing things” as such a big part of it.
We also asked your co‑workers to share their own stories because we in senior management feel we are paying you, so what more do you need to know? This, we have come to understand, is an ambiguous and complex perspective to impart to those of you who do not have MBA’s, access to the executive men’s room, and the opportunity to explore the cultures of other nations with an emphasis upon Grand Cayman Island.
I hope you find this handbook inspirational, as well as useful, as you take your rightful place in the Unitapioca system. Welcome.
George Bob Slezebauthem, Jr. Jr., CEO, President, and grandson of the founder
Your Attention Please!
It has come to our attention that some of you see your happy employees manual and handbook as office jokes. I can assure you, there is no humor in this company when it comes to the business we do, or how we do it. Also, while we appreciate your willigness to share our diversity and safety policies with your coworkers, employees must avoid posting copies where disgruntled coworkers can write their own editorial comments on the margins. stay professional, people! That means YOU!!! From your friends in Human Resources.